cant i stand a chance?
am i being too cheap.... or too stupid.....and too blind?
am i fall too deep? isnt there any way out?
god... what the hell have i become? i hurt no one but myself... keep torturing my heart and pitty myself. i think bout nothing but him. he's the one........... this is start to drive me crazy. i dont know whats real anymore. i dont know what i should believe anymore.
im done with this. im so tired of trying to escape. but there's no escape. i feel trapped. and no one to blame but my self.

if this feeling started with hate.... please let me end this with hate too. i need to stop being like this. god....