WOUND

so today im trying hard to dont think about him anymore. i try to erasing him. i feel like this sorrow feeling needs to leave me alone already. i go out to see my friends at campus and went to 4 hours karaoke after that. i was finally remember how to laughing again,i was having fun,i was singing bout my heart content, a broken heart song,to ease my aching wound. but as soon as i get home,,,,,after taking a bath and back to my room....i feel suddenly loneliness comes crushing over me again. i feel hurts when i see my laptop. i almost cry when i stare at my phone. i feel lonely when i see my bed. i think,''what's the function of all of these if you;re not with me anymore?''  i throw myself to bed, im crying again.... that wound opened even wider now. i keep asking why and how could this happened to me. and i realized how much he meant for me. but the fact is nothing left of us....and nothing can be saved. our memories will stay eternally in my heart but my wound will covering my body till the day i die. i dont know everything will end up like this..... i dont know how fate choose to be cruel to cut me off like i were a piece of paper. but life must go on with or without him. i know this is might be the hardest phase but i got to get over it. i need to get up on my feet....i need to stand for who i am. but right now ... ten,...or twenty more years,i will carry this misery forever with me, especially the pain inside my chest whenever i get reminded of him....