a big secret. i have a crush on my classmate

i just cant stand it,everytime i look in to your eyes i feel my heart is about to explode. i never thought that eyes which are once disgusting for me,become so gorgeous...just like a magnet ,always attract people. and that smile which is annoying back then, now can make me literally melt like a butter under the heavy sun. idk whether is this karma or is it just a random crush but this feeling just getting deeper and deeper everyday....
long time ago, i hated him very much. i always taking aback when he's trying to get closer. i rejected his phone call, i know he's kinda had a special feeling but i hate him so much and seeing him in classroom is such a pain in the ass. wise ppl said 'dont hate too much' others say 'the harder u throw a rubber ball to the wall,the harder it bounced back at you'. yeah,works for me. i was hating on him too much. and now i feel the opposite. im so confuse.... i have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend too. im afraid he can read my clumsiness. i just try to hide what i feel anytime he near me. and waiting for the day till i can hate him again cz this feeling is really really extremely uncomfortable